‘I slept with my husband’s friend and I don’t feel bad about it’

Dear Coleen

I slept with my husband’s friend. We are both in sexless relationships and our partners treat us like rubbish – there’s no respect and no appreciation.

I’ve brought up how I feel many times with my husband, even ­admitting to him that I’m lonely, yet he doesn’t seem to care.

My husband’s friend was having a rough time so we arranged to meet for a drink and a chat.

However, after a few drinks and a few flirty comments, we kissed. We both agreed it was wrong and discussed why it was wrong, but we still went on to sleep with each other.

I don’t feel guilty and realise I should. He says he doesn’t feel bad either, but I think he does, despite asking when he can see me again, and not just for sex. He says he likes my company and would gladly hang out with me again without any sex.

I want to see him again and an affair would be easy due to our working patterns and our partners’ working patterns. I’ve wanted to leave my husband for some time, but with ­children, property and money involved it’s not easy.

I do love my husband, but not enough or I wouldn’t have slept with his friend and feel no remorse.

I don’t think his friend loves me or wants something lasting, but the affair has made me realise I shouldn’t be with my husband. The trouble is, he avoids conversations and I don’t know how he’ll react if I tell him the truth.

I feel like I need a way out, but it isn’t that simple. What can I do?

Coleen says

I think you’re making a lot of excuses about why you can’t leave. Perhaps there’s a part of you hoping that the affair is exposed, so then you’ve got a way out without having to make the decision.

But you’re right – you shouldn’t be with your husband and this affair has just confirmed it.

I understand you’re scared, especially as you have children – starting again is scary and it’s difficult to sort out the finances and other practical arrangements. But the only way is to face it and take it one small step at a time. And, when you do that, you’ll start to feel more in control and realise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

But first you have to talk to your husband and explain what you’re thinking – you don’t have to bring his friend into it but admit you’re not happy and your gut instinct is telling you it would be best to split up. You have to open up the conversation.

Source: Read Full Article