Lillian Ahenkan aka Flex Mami on Thinking Differently
Called “one of the most charismatic Australians of the internet”, Lillian Ahenkan (@flex.mami) is your go-to woman for good energy, colourful suits and real talk, and her new book helps you work out who you are, what you want and how to get it.
“I have a thing about women having agency. You’re allowed to be an active participant in your own life, and change things for yourself,” she says.
Check out her juiciest advice.
1. Own your power
“There’s a distinction between being a passive participant in your life and someone who’s constantly evaluating, someone who gets to change their circumstances and improve their life. You can change how you want to see things. It’s all you! So if you can take more time to figure out what [you want] and start moving towards creating metrics of success that work for you, then your life could be so much better.”
2. Use positive reinforcement
“Instead of waiting until the end of the journey, find ways to highlight all the small things you’ve done well along the way. These celebrations act like a productivity fuel, giving you the juice you need to enthusiastically continue. You don’t need to throw yourself a party every time you tick something off the to-do list but pausing to give yourself some mental props is more than enough.”
3. Don’t try to be “That Girl”
“There’s this trend on TikTok called the ‘That Girl’. We all want to be That Girl, who wakes up at 6am, goes for a run and meditates, only eats wholefoods and kills everybody with kindness… But that’s not how you operate at your best [by pretending to be someone else]. When you put on a character of yourself because you want to be perceived as more well-rounded, it only serves to dissatisfy you.”
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If I could manifest one thing, it would be…
“Some discipline. I really do value discipline. People who get up and do the thing because it needs to be done. It’s so hard to be a self-mastered person when you can’t even do the bare minimum. Some days I’m like, ‘Water – did I drink it? Mmm, I’m not sure…’”
When I’m tapped out on social media…
“I read fantasy or fiction books that aren’t rooted in my reality. I find that really, really good. It takes discipline to say, ‘I’m going to escape into the land of books with intention because I can, and then I’m going to go to sleep.’”
The app that’s changed my life
“Hands down, TikTok. It’s an amplification and celebration of average people. TikTok gives regular people space on the internet to hold the narrative for themselves as opposed to only the most exceptional, the most privileged or most capable.”
Ahenkan’s The Success Experiment (Pantera, $32.99) is on sale now.
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